What a statement. Slightly comparable to the round & round conversation we could have about the question “Which came first – the chicken or the egg?” Think about it. If everyone in the world deleted their social media accounts across the board – what would these platforms do? What would be their purpose? What value would they hold without the consumers & producers who spend their time (& money) on their apps?

I’ve deactivated my accounts multiple times to find myself coming back to them not because I have FOMO or because I’m addicted to them, but for one particular reason: I felt like I needed them if I were going to be a successful writer, actor, or whatever else I’m striving to become. I’ve spent days on end googling things like “do I need social media to be successful?” (I know, silly – but I also know I’m not the only one who has done this) & I won’t even begin to tell you how many YouTube videos I’ve watched pertaining to this topic. Just know that I’ve done enough research so that you don’t have to & what I’ve found in my quest is that the answer to this question highly depends upon who you ask.

I personally like to think that we are still able to achieve our goals & dreams without these platforms if that’s how we wish to do so. This isn’t a rant about how horrible social media is – I believe that to be individualistic & I can see both the pros & cons of utilizing these platforms. I, however, am finding it to be increasingly counterproductive to my goals more often than not. Once upon a time, I was a social media wiz & once upon a time it was actually enjoyable for me. This particular era dates back to 7+ years ago before it all became what it is today. If I’m being completely transparent, I haven’t truly enjoyed social media as much as I used to back when MySpace & Vine were the places to be online. Oh, the innocent days of the internet. In 2017, I deleted (yes, deleted – not just deactivated – deleted) all of my social media accounts. I remained “off the grid” as one would say for nearly 3 years & in terms of personal growth, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (but that’s an entirely different story for another time).

Lately, I’ve been feeling as if I’m being summoned back to that “off the grid” lifestyle. The era when I felt most free & most like me. At times, it feels as if I’m at war with myself. On one hand I think “I need my work published on these platforms so that I’m discoverable” & on the other hand I think “I can do this without these platforms & so I will. I’ll even do it just because they say that I can’t.”

I’m afraid we’ve created this facade that if you aren’t online actively utilizing these platforms, then you aren’t relevant & you are less likely to become successful in your craft – whatever that may be. On the flip side, while we’re pouring our time & energy into creating for these apps (and/or mindlessly scrolling in between), we are stealing our time & energy away from our craft. Oftentimes we are cattle called into following trends & using audio/music that’s trending to *hopefully* meet the requirements of the everchanging algorithms so that we are seen by as many people as possible. This happens so effortlessly that one day you’re “creating content” as opposed to simply creating. You’re spinning your wheels & finding that you have less & less time on your hands to hone your actual craft. If you’re anything like me, you begin to wonder if you’re creating these things (i.e. content) because you think it’ll perform well on social media, or if you’re creating because it’s authentic to you & what you wish to offer to the world as an artist. Maybe it isn’t about how many eyes see your work – maybe it’s about those who genuinely appreciate it & connect with it. Lately, for me, I’ve been making my way back to my roots – looking for the “quality over quantity” type of connections. I’m sure this is achievable with or without social media, but (to me) it often feels better without it.

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s just something freeing about being unreachable. There’s something so profoundly calming about being “off the grid” & out of the online race to “going viral” or “being seen”. Do I wish to be seen? Sure, naturally as a human, I do – but lately I’ve been focusing more on being heard. A lot of what I see online & on these platforms is this “look at me & what I’m doing” persona. Some would argue narcissism. Even I have fallen into this trap myself from time to time – but I always circle back here, to this moment in time, of wanting to get away from it – wanting out. Wanting more out of my real life than my life online.

So, what do you think? Do you think social media needs us more than we need it? Or do you believe this to be a codependency hamster wheel that we can’t jump off of? Do you believe we need social media to be successful in our chosen paths? Do you believe up & coming artists, writers, actors, models in particular need these platforms to market/brand themselves? Do you think people are irrelevant if they don’t have an online persona? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

xx,

Kait

Do ya ever just wanna do and be a million different things all at once? But some days you simply wish to be nonexistent to the world? Yeah, me too.

I’ve spent countless hours of my life being paralyzed by indecisiveness, overthinking, fear of failure, etc. followed by a parade of guilt for knowing I could’ve spent said time actually doing something to improve myself or my life. And then the cycle repeats.

I was talking to a few friends about this recently & a common statement was “I just have issues.” And my response was: “Yeah, absolutely you do. Your #1 issue is you’re human.” We laughed – but when you really think about it, it’s true! Being human is a blessing & a curse.

Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out. Our careers. Relationships. Children. Goals. Whatever we desire in life. We could do a deep dive into the “why” behind the insurmountable pressure we put ourselves under – but I’ll leave that up to you & your therapist to figure out because that varies individually (lol).

I’m more interested in talking about how we deal with this overwhelming feeling of not having it all figured out. Yes, it’s important to keep the “big picture” in mind, but when you’re so focused on the “big picture” – the finish line & the future that you find yourself neglecting or missing out on the right now, you’ve got yourself a REAL problem. But don’t worry, you’re not too far gone.

I’ve found that one of the most incredibly difficult things for us to do as humans is be present. We’re either constantly reminiscing about the past or we’re overindulging in planning for the future. When in all reality, we’re only guaranteed the now. And even that’s arguable. Even when we convince ourselves to focus on “the now”, we often find ourselves pondering the “how”. How will I make this happen? How will I accomplish this? If I want to be married but I don’t even have a boyfriend/girlfriend – how? If I want kids someday but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready – how? If I want to finish school but I have to maintain a full time job & take care of family – HOW?! It’s like sensory overload when all of these thoughts creep into our minds. And once it starts, it’s painfully difficult to make it stop.

Now, I’m the last person on this Earth to have all of the answers – but there are a few things I’ve found helpful along the way that may help you too. While I still struggle with being human from time to time, I can honestly say that these things help me get a grip.

1. Make a list. Yeah, I know. Roll your eyes. It’s old school, but it’s tried & true. With pen & paper – trust me, it’s just different that way. Write down everything your brain spats out at you. Your hopes & dreams, goals – all of it. This gives all of this information somewhere else to live & it helps to make space in your mind for new thoughts. More often than not, writing things down helps SO much. Know why? Our brains continuously repeat things to us because it’s afraid we’re going to forget. So, if you get it out on to paper, it’s your way of telling yourself “hey brain, I heard you & look! I won’t forget it because I wrote it down.” Trust me, it helps.
2. Just do today. It’s as simple as that & newsflash: it’s all we can do. Take things one day at a time. One task at a time. One breath at a time. Start by choosing just one small thing per day/week/month – whatever works for you – that contributes to your “big picture” & focus on getting that one thing done. That’s how the “bigger picture” is attained – not all at once, but rather through the numerous small actions we take over time. That’s what gets us to where we want to be. That’s “how”.
3. Celebrate small wins along the way. This one right here is heavily neglected by the masses. If you don’t celebrate the small wins along the way, the journey is going to be incredibly discouraging & most likely unfulfilling. Life is already a long (if we’re lucky), hard path, don’t make it feel harder than it already is by not allowing yourself to be proud of the little things you accomplish along the way. Because those little things are what lead to the big things. So, do yourself a favor & be proud of how far you’ve already come.
4. Kill the comparison or it’s going to kill you. This goes without saying, but I still felt like it needed to be on the list. Everyone is on their own personal timeline. Just because someone may have reached a certain destination in life before you did, doesn’t mean that you won’t someday get there too. For example, just because your friend or someone you see on social media recently bought a house doesn’t mean that they own “buy a house” island & now you can’t someday buy a house of your own. That’s silly. But it truly goes for anything in life. It’s best if we do our best to not to look at life with a scarcity mindset. I promise there are enough houses to go around & if there aren’t – you’ll build one of your own.
5. When all else fails, have faith. If you aren’t religious or spiritual – well, I feel sorry for you (haha kidding… kinda) – then this may not apply to you. But for those of you who are, we know at the end of the day there is a plan. It may not be our plan, but there is, in fact, a plan. Know that it will all work out in due time. Know that what’s meant for you will find you. Nothing in this life that’s meant for you will ever pass you by. We don’t have to know when & we don’t need to worry too much about how, we just need to have faith that it will. Trust your intuition to guide you along the way. When it’s time, you’ll know what to do.

Whew. Now I’m pondering & feeling as though I need to go make a few lists! I typically spend the first week or so of the new year doing that anyway, so I may as well! Maybe once I’m finished, I can share a few of my goals for the year & how I break them down to be realistically attainable. I’m still learning how to do this, but I don’t mind sharing what I know while figuring it all out along the way!

Please. Don’t allow yourself to be paralyzed by indecisiveness, overthinking, or fear of failure. If you’re afraid of failing or making mistakes, then I highly suggest you find a new species to be a part of. Don’t rob yourself of the now by getting lost in constantly wondering “how?”. How will you find your life partner? Not by retreating to your dungeon or remaining closed off to the world around you. How will you manage to care for your family & go to school full time? Not by daydreaming about it & neglecting to put anything into action. Don’t be so afraid to make a choice that you end up not making one at all. In fact, I’d argue that it’s better to make the “wrong choice” as opposed to no choice. We live & we learn; that is the human experience.

You’ve got to learn to quiet the noise around you so that the voice inside of you can be heard. After all, wherever you go – there YOU are. In other words, no matter where you end up in life, you can’t run away from yourself (at least not forever anyway).

Wherever you are, I hope love finds you and your soul guides you ❤

xo,

Kait

p.s. when you’re busy making your plans, don’t forget to leave some room for life to gift you with a surprise from time to time – sometimes things are just better that way 🙂

From a small-town in Coastal Mississippi to Lala Land Los Angeles, it’s been quite the journey.

I was born and raised in an extremely small town along the southern coast of Mississippi. A 4-way stop kind of town. The kind of town so small that you pretty much know who lives where, what type of car each person drives, where they work/go to school, and who all of their exes are (and likely the exes of their exes, too). The kind of town where you’re guaranteed to run into at least 3 people you went to high school with during your trip to the local grocery store. A town so small that even after graduating high school, the hometown baseball games and Friday night lights are the highlight of the week. Mud ridin’, huntin’, fishin’, horses, cows, and chickens – it’s a simple, quiet little life. A town that doesn’t have much to offer from the outside looking in, but still somehow feels like “home”.

Anyway, you get the point. In a town this small, people don’t usually leave… and if they do, they don’t wander very far, and they typically end up coming back. Leaving is something I’d always dreamt of. Though I’m blessed to have been raised amongst a large & very loving family, I always felt like I needed to get out – even if only for a bit – to figure out who I truly am by escaping the place I’ve always known as “home”. I had all of these goals & dreams that were just seemingly boxed in by the limited opportunities my tiny town offered me.

Though it isn’t uncommon, it may sound silly to some. Do I really need to move thousands of miles away from everyone I love to figure myself out? Why can’t I simply just travel or vacation somewhere to gain a new perspective or sense of self?

Why is that?

What’s wrong with me?

And how, exactly, does one reach their destination if they’re not quite sure what it looks like or how to get there? If there’s no road map – no direction – how does one reach the desired location?

If I knew, I’d tell you. I’d spill all the secrets for free if I had them because I know just how mind-boggling all of this can be. I know how paralyzing it can be to your ability to make decisions & stay committed to them. All I know is what my personal experiences have been throughout my life’s journey & that I have this undying, gravitational pull from my intuition that I am meant to share some of it with you.

I left home with no plan, no savings, & no idea for what was in store for me on this journey. All I knew is that I needed to go while I still can. While I’m not married. While I don’t have kids. While I’m not tied down by other temporary sources of happiness in this little town. So, I left. I did it.

And allow me to be the first to tell you just how incredibly difficult it has been.

I won’t go into detail about falling flat on my face financially (what did I expect, right?), how overstimulating a big city like LA can be, how lonely a lot of people are out here, or any of that stuff – that’s another story for another time that I probably most definitely will write about at some point. On the flip side, TONS of amazing experiences have unfolded in my journey – but I feel called to share the real stuff that most people don’t talk about or share online. The not-so-glamourous parts about our efforts to enhance our lives because despite what most portray on social media, we all know that life isn’t always rainbows & butterflies. For now, I’d like to focus on the MOST difficult part of this process because I feel like I can either help someone or maybe someone else can help me.

For me, the absolute, most difficult part about moving 2,000+ miles away from my hometown has been family.

I haven’t stopped missing them since the moment I stepped onto that airplane with my one-way ticket & 3 suitcases packed full of all the belongings I could travel with. Not to mention the guilt that comes along with leaving, especially being the oldest sibling in the bunch. Sure, “there’s amazing technology nowadays that we are so lucky to have” (yes, I understand this – & I also understand that there are people out there with worse, more real problems than this – which is why it’s taken me a while to even consider publishing this article, but nonetheless it’s a topic I’d like to hear about from others so here I am), but it just isn’t the same.

The birthdays, the ballgames, the impromptu dinner at your parents’ houses, the spontaneous trips to the store with your siblings, being there when someone is sick, & so much more. Not to mention my very best friends are still there as well. I miss it all. Since moving to LA, I’ve only been able to travel home to visit once or twice per year. Yes, I can see the pros & cons of this – but when I sit back & think about the fact that I’ve only been “home” a handful of times since moving 1.5 years ago, it really, really blows my mind. It makes me question whether or not I’m “doing the right thing”.

I understand that in life, sometimes we must make sacrifices to achieve our goals. But on another hand, I am also faced with the reality that there is nothing on this Earth worth sacrificing precious moments & milestones with my family for. No amount of success, site seeing, money, finding myself, or any other temporary, Earthly thing is worth sacrificing the ability to make memories with my family or very best friends for.

My youngest sibling is turning 8 this year (yes, I am the result of a teenage pregnancy lol). I have three young nieces & one nephew (2 of which are newborns). I feel I am missing out on so much back home nowadays. Missing out on moments & milestones that I can never get back. My grandparents are only getting older (g-parents, if you’re reading this, I mean this in the kindest way possible). Some of my best friends have kids that are like my own.

So, why then, is it so incredibly difficult for me to think about going back? Why is it difficult to think about leaving LA? Sure, I’ve found “my people” out here & that, itself, would make it harder to leave, but at the end of the day, I’d choose my family over anyone & everyone. So, why can’t I “just go home”? Is my work here unfinished? Am I on the brink of attaining this career I sought out? Or am I clinging to a goal that could potentially take decades to achieve all while sacrificing this precious family time? And even if/when I reach that point of accomplishment, will it matter if I’ve been missing the people I love most?

The clock is always ticking.

Is all of this really worth the ultimate sacrifice I’m making?

Here’s where it gets even more interesting…

On the flip side, my family (& close friends that I consider family) is what drove me out here. My family is what motivates me to reach for more. To think outside of the box. My family keeps me going. They are the best part of who I am. My family is what makes me dig deep & work hard to make sure that all of these sacrifices are worth it.

When talking to my friends out here in LA about it, I can’t help but reference feeling like Disney’s own, Moana. Conflicted by my own desires but knowing deep down if I push through to the other side, I could potentially change everything for myself & for my family back home. I just love them so much. I want all of their wildest dreams to come true… & I want to help them make it all happen.

But oh, how my heart constantly longs to be with them.

And how not having them here makes the hard days even harder. I miss having the ability to drive to my parents’ houses or siblings’ houses to just hang out & catch up after a long day.

I miss having something other than myself to worry about. (This is something I’ll go into more detail about in another article about living in LA)

In conclusion, I’d like to know if anyone else out there has any advice. Who else has been through this? What did you end up doing? Any regrets? Would you have chosen differently? I want to hear all that you are willing to share. Even if you can’t relate to this directly, but maybe you have something to share regarding this, I’d love to hear it!

I feel myself reaching a turning point in my life. Maybe I already know the answer, but maybe it also helps to heart it all from someone else.

Life is short, live it.

xx,

Kait